What Does It Mean To Mettle Through A Health Crisis

“How did you manage to stay so strong all last year and even now as you continue to recover from everything?” One of my good friends reached out recently with this question. 

This person is beginning their own health journey and trying to remain positive. The text made me pause and reflect. I’ve shared other posts on ways I prioritized my mental health but as I thought about it deeper, I looked back on the raw helplessness and hopelessness.

I remembered the big mental struggles: comparison, toxic positivity, and loneliness. As I thought of my response, I challenged myself to think about the purpose of this website: to encourage people to mettle through a health crisis.

Here’s what I told my friend:

I don’t compare myself to anyone – except the girl I was yesterday. 

When you’re going through a health challenge and see the highlights from everyone on social media, it’s easy to find yourself feeling “behind”. I forced myself to only compare myself to who I was yesterday: Am I kind today? Did I give back in some way today? Did I drink more water today? Did I do something that made me happy today? I never shamed the girl I was yesterday; this was just a small way I could keep myself pushing forward. 

I was honest with myself that this sucks and I found ways to find peace.

I never pretended to love this season of my life, but I was only hurting myself more if I didn’t find ways to be content. These were little things like journaling, hanging out with my mom, snuggling my dogs, or getting an oat milk latte between appointments.

I bought plants.

I couldn’t drive for 6 months so I felt very dependent on others. This was extremely challenging. Also, due to the pain I experienced, I wasn’t able to even walk my dogs or bend down to refill their food and water bowls (thank you to my parents for helping me out with them). To help me feel independent, I bought plants so I could feel like I was responsible for something. It wasn’t anything big (and honestly, I’m a terrible plant mom) but I was the only one 100% responsible for them. This helped me feel empowered in a small way.

I found the positives.

Last year, I made a list of all my happy moments and challenging moments. Finding the “happy moments” was difficult at first so I wrote down little stuff like, “My coffee was really good” or “Oakley and Kinsley playing in the snow”. Identifying these “happy moments” helped shift my mindset; as I dug for little pockets of “happy moments” throughout the day, I realized that there truly was a lot of good in my life still. This realization encouraged me to view my “challenging moments” as opportunities. In each “challenging moment” I saw that something good came from it. About 5 months into writing these down, I started labelling the hard stuff as “happy moments” because I could finally see hope during the hard times.

Make goals for yourself. 

Use this time to prepare for the first day that you feel good again. It’s hard to find the time during a health crisis to imagine yourself 6 months, one year, and five years from now. Even though you’re busy with doctor appointments and pain, prioritize your future. The more you push yourself to think ahead, the more bearable your experience will be. Imagine yourself 100% better – what would you wish you had used this time for? If you’re hoping to get fit, buy a few nice sneakers, make a workout plan, and do research on meal plans and exercises. If you’re hoping to start a blog, start drafting in a journal beside your bed. 🙂

Not everyone will know how to support you. 

I was surprised by the army of people who stood beside me during this time but I also felt sad when I realized that some people in my life weren’t as present as I hoped they would be. Some people innocently don’t know how to support and be there for others who are going through a health issue. It’s hard to accept, but don’t hold it against them. 

You can mettle through it.

It’s hard to process a health crisis. Whether it’s short term or chronic, a lot of people mourn all the things they’re missing while they experience it. You’re not alone. Although life isn’t shaking out the way you imagined it would, how can you find the good? Finding the good will help you find hope.